CSI: Miami---so *thats* how you pay your taxes!!!

Ah, yes, it was a busy time in Miami this week. Not only did the completely upstanding, law-abiding citizens that staff the Miami-Dade PD have to file their taxes, they also had to deal with murders. (I don't know how much Horatio makes, but those CSI NY-ers have quite a lot to account for with their 98+ paychecks...) Now, this episode followed the traditional formula for the first five minutes (allowing Horatio to get in a cute little bon mot right before The Who starts singing- something to the effect of "It's tax time". I don't remember exactly, but I know it made me laugh at the absurdity of the situation. hehehe), with a man on a boat being shot at by a rich dude in a mansion on the shore. I'm sorry, but whenever I see a guy in a boat on this show, I think of Miami Vice. They could have alleviated this by just setting the show in Orlando or something...*sigh* The man on the shore claimed he was shooting in self defense because Boat Dude pulled a gun, and shot him in the leg (a superficial but painful scar). But, as we learn implausibly quickly in the next...oh...five seconds, the man on the boat was and IRS agent, and therefore not authorized to carry a gun. Huh. I guess Mansion Dude is lying!! But wait! Within the next five seconds we learn that MansionDude is on IRS guy's list- giving him enough motive for Horatio to accuse him of shooting himself in the leg.

Okay, I'd just like to take a moment out for a little editorial. How desperate do you have to be to shoot yourself in the leg? And how stupid do you have to be to just hold the gun down your thigh and shoot? First of all, can't you find something a little bit less important than your leg? You kind of use it a lot. Secondly, you know those clever CSI's are going to figure it out that the gun was fired down your leg and unless you and the IRS guy were pretty cozy (we'll get back to that later *wink wink*), he could not have shot you? Come on, guys, think!!!!

So Mansion Guy pretty much confesses, and I get rather upset. By this time, it's only ten after nine, and I'm settling in for a good evening with corpses. I'm already ticked off because the baseball game pre-emped Friends on TBS and I didn't have anything to watch while I ate dinner. So there'd better be something good coming, or I may retract my desire to give Jerry Bruckheimer my first born.

But not worry- as Mansion Guy is nursing his "wound", Horatio gets a call on his cell phone. There's another murder! And wait- it's another IRS agent! And another bon mot from Horatio! So we pretty much ignore the Mansion Guy vs. Boat Guy story for the rest of the hour. (Hence the unconventional formula) as H, Calleigh, and Ryan (yay!!!) go running across town to deal with this other murder. Once at the scene, Calleigh says something like "An awful lot of blood". She a perceptive one, that Calleigh. Dude was shot through the check twice!!! Of course there's an awful lot of blood! Ugh.

So they gather evidence for the next twenty minutes, and then My Future Husband notices that there's a tire track. Well, we all know who the resident tire-track expert is, don't we? But wait, there's a problem. Ryan and Delko are having a little cat fight! Apparently, Ryan left Delko in the water and went on an errand without him. Now, I'm not entirely sure how this constitues a snub, because I would rather just take a shower and get on clean clothes than go running all over Miami-Dade County trying to find H's SUV, but whatever. So Ryan has to swallow his pride and ask Delko for help. Awww---CSI's getting along!!!! How cute!!!!

Back to the murder. They investigate the second IRS Dude's office, and they find *gasp* a shredded check! Well, this implicates the assistant, who admits shredding the check because she wanted to get ahead in the fast-paced world of tax collectors. But she denies planting the poison that the clever CSI's found all over the IRS Guy's office. But wait- it's plant poison! So that leads them to the IRS Guy's tax-evader who owns a nursery. Which is really too bad because he's an adorable guy with two adorable boys. Awww- he can't be guilty.

For some reason (probably to fulfill the weekly kink factor) there's this other suspect with a whore for an ex-wife. But they're on the outs, making both of them suspects. This also allows the CSI's to search the rich guy's Rolls Royce and find- *gasp*- a heel print on ceiling. Gee, I wonder how that got there? *giggle*

Another editorial---How long do your legs have to be to to reach the ceiling ? I hate tall women. So Whore is sleeping with the Tax Guy to make her little problems go away and to get back at her ex-husband. I'm sorry, I just love this. ;) But all is not well. The Nursery guy's little boy is outside the car watching. Like the eight-year-old. Poor baby's scared for life!!!

So then H concludes from little to no evidence that either the Nursery Guy's fifteen-year-old son or the eight-year-old killed the IRS guy. So Seth (older one) confesses. Then Dad flips out and says he's lying to protect him. But then- in the shocker of the year- the eight-year-old (who's name I forgot) says that Seth is lying. He shot IRS dude. *GASP* *THUD* NOT THE LITTLE BOY!!!! He's so cute!!!!!! *GASP AGAIN* Oh, and Seth was the one who poisened the office. But that kind of gets lost when you realize the baby killed the guy!!!! After watching him go at it with the blond whore in the car. *shiver* Scary. Ugh.

I'll do something about The Office when I get home and watch the tape---late for class!!!