Friday, May 19, 2006
Finales Galore
I'll get the biggies out of the way first- Will and Grace ended last night. And it sucked. Not in the sad, "Oh, my friends are gone!!!!" kind of suck, but the "Wow. They just totally stomped on my faithful viewership and completely ruined the last episode" kind.
Okay, I knew this was going to happen. I knew they were going to fastforward into the future so we see how the characters ended up. This was troubling. Because unless they followed my fantasies exactly (which, let's face it, was unlikely) there was no way for changing the ending in my mind ala Gone With the Wind (Rhett totally met up with Scarlett at Tara).
But almost the entire thing took place like twenty years in the future. The premise was that Grace remarried Leo because she had a dream that she and Will would end up unhappy if they stayed together. And then Will and Vince adopted a little boy, and Grace and Leo had a little girl. And didn't talk for two years. So Karen, who has lost her fortune, and Jack, who is now pimping himself out to Beverly Leslie, get them back together for one night, and then they fall out of touch again. Until Lila and Ben (the kids) meet their first day of college (which, btw, was totally NOT how Will and Grace met) and they fall in love and end up getting married.
Which was the ONLY bright spot of the night, knowing that Will and Grace are really related now. Well, that and Kevin Bacon playing Jack's husband in Grace's dream. "I had my 'Kyra Forever' tattoo lasered off and it's starting to bleed." HAHAHAHAHA.
But my Will and Grace would not have split up over a dream. I think I'd be happier if they'd been in some autistic kid's snowglobe for the last eight years.
CSI also wrapped up last night, althoug not for good. Which is quite good, as I don't think I would feel quite the same about the world without CSI. I really hope it's still on in twenty years like ER.
Anyhoodles, it was quite good. Loved all the tender Grissom/Dying Brass scenes. And what the hell does Ellie have to be so upset about??? Just 'cause Daddy didn't support your decision to become a crack ho doesn't mean he doesn't love you, moron. I think I'd want Grissom to be in charge of my medical power of attorney as opposed to the angry prostitute, too.
Did NOT, however, love the tender Grissom/Very Alive Sara scene at the end. WTF??? Rock that cradle of love, Gil. And I totally ship Grillows and Stidle, so I was upset that one from each of those groups ended up in robes together. I'm holding out that in September it'll turn out that they all went to a spa or something to get over the whole Brass incident and that's why they were alone in robes. *shivers*
But we are quite glad that Brass pulled through. Especially that last scene when they're all there. Awww...
Just two teeny problems- Victorian and Elizabethan periods were three hundred and fifty years apart, and they were using them practically interchangably. And the Civil War did not intersect with either of them in this country, especially in the South. And male corsets were never common. Not in any of the three eras that they were talking about. It might have happend, but it was not common.
Without a Trace ended, too, for the season. With a shootout, no less. Oh the drama. And Mary Elizabeth Mastriantonio (wow, that's a mouthful), was taken hostage. Oh snap. And she's preggers with Jack's kid. Oh bigger snap.
Okay, I'd just like to say that if anybody ever was incredulous that I was pregnant because I was too old, their corpse would have been found in the water below. Seriously, Jack. What the hell were you thinking???
Finally, That '70's Show had it's finale last night. This is the way to do a finale. Jackie finally kisses Fez, the Forman's don't move, Kelso comes back just as stupid as ever, Hyde inherits the record store from his dad, Eric comes back and makes up with Donna, and it ends with a circle where they talk about the same stuff they did in the first one (I'm not a big drug-use promoter, but this one was sweet). The British kid freaked me out a little, but it was still good.
Why couldn't Will and Grace have done that???
Anyhoodles, it's not over yet children. Numbers tonight, then Alias and CSI:Miami on Monday, and Lost on Wednesday. I'm exhausted... :)
Thursday, May 18, 2006
CSI:NY Season Finale- NO!!!!!!!!! DON'T TAKE THEM FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ahem* Returning to slightly more normal (not much though, don't get your hopes up...) prose, it was a very good episode. *tear* A very, very good episode. And they didn't waste time with a "B" case, so that was good.
Long story short, Mac and Flack are caught in a building when a bomb goes off and all the other little CSI's are standing out front and then Stella kind of takes over the investigation because Mac is still MIA and he's clearly her last chance to have a baby and she'll be damned if he ends up charred. This wasn't really part of the story, but I totally think it was.
And Flack is injured!!!!!! Like eviscerated injured!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T DIE FLACK!!!!!! Anyhoodles, Lt. Dan...erm, Mac...tied off an aterial bleed with a shoelace, which worked quite well considering Flack didn't die. All through this scene we were treated to flashbacks to when Mac lost a guy in the Marines twenty five years ago. Oh sadness. Poor Lt. Dan.
So they get out, and Flack goes into surgery, and Stella has to make sure that the hideous burn mark on Mac's chest isn't genetic because while her eggs may be dry, they are still a little picky apparently. Oh, and they figure out that the bomb was triggered by a cell phone. But, despite the mass panic that the previews suggested, they further deduct that not just any cell phone will trigger it, it's a special Super Secret Homeland Security Code Phone or something equally implausible.
But wait- Scary Bomber Guy is targeting Mac!!! Oh snap. Stella is immediately intrigued/jealous.
So they kind of follow him around and find his lair, where he basically plays a Marine and looks at Mac's military records. Stella is more intrigued, and slightly less jealous because the picture on his little ID card thingy is kind of funny.
Turns out Scary Bomber Guy is a crazy who wanted to be a Marine but kept failing the psych exam. Sadness. Not really, because I don't really want schitzophrenics in the military. They have enough to deal with out there without voices.
Scary Bomber Guy then proceeds to hold Uptight Homeland Securty Chick hostage until Mac plays little mind games with him and convinces him to drop his weapon because his superior officer told him to.
I'd just like to say that if I was Stella, I totally would have ruined it by starting to giggle in the background, because it was so funny. *ahem*
And they all live happily every after. Well, except Flack, but we'll get to that in a minute.
Okay, so at the end they're all together at the hospital. Oh!!! I do so love it when my CSI's get together!!!! So they have this touching little conversation about friendship, and then Hawkes goes off to harass the neurosurgeon and make sure he's taking care of his friend, and Stella goes off to get coffee (she knows how Mac takes it??? That's...kind of creepy, actually...), and Danny and Lindsay totally ditch to go for a ride. I don't know. I didn't understand that part. But the really important people stay.
So then you kind of figure hours go by and Mac's all alone with Flack, and he's kind of holding his hand (which, btw, isn't gay like the little Marine move last week...) and he asks him to squeeze his fingers if he can hear him, like the Dead Marine from earlier in the show couldn't.
And Flack doesn't. Imladris and I are practically in tears.
...
...
...
...
And then he does!!!!!!!!!! Oh, Flack's going to be okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Mac's crying and it's so sweet!!! Oh, this was so awesome!!!!
So, despite the fact that it represents this show going away for a couple of months, it was quite good. A very definate Smacked moment towards the end ("I'm glad you stayed." Oh, he totally meant that he was glad she stayed, not just that Flack had friends around. Wow. I think too much.). We love definate Smacked moments.
So now it's over until September. *tear*
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
You Love Crazy Until Crazy Loves You
Anyhoodles, more finales and such coming up tonight and tomorrow (CSI:NY---NO!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), so I'll just run down the list...k???
Grey's Anatomy~
Okay, the season finale was three hours long. THREE. And because I forgot to tape it Sunday night, I did a marathon view this afternoon. I'm a little tired and in need of fluids, but I'm okay. I know you're all thrilled.
Anyhoodles, this whole thing could have been very easily summed up in half an hour. Izzie cuts Denny LVAD wires, essentially killing him so that he can get another heart, Burke gets shot en route getting aformentioned heart and loses feeling in his right hand (not a good thing for a thoracic surgeon) and then turns to his every supportive girlfriend Cristina who is...nowhere to be found. Really. She like totally avoided him for the entire night. Crazy bitch. Meredith's dog has cancer and ends up dying (sadness) and she eases her grief by doing the freak nasty with McDreamy (who, by the way, was probably given the moniker while in a tux. Wow.) in some random hospital room (ew!!! unsanitary!!!) while the Chief of Surgery's cancer-ridden niece is having a prom with all the attendings, for the sole reason of letting everybody get dressed up and pretty.
*deep breath* Okay, are we all caught up???
But then Denny proposes and Izzie freaks out and then Denny dies anyway and Alex gets all sweet and non-manwhory and carries Izzie off of his dead body (eww....). Cristina finally acts like an actual human being and goes back to her poor boyfriend who can actually move his hand now (YAY!!!!), and Callie and George make up. And frankly, I'm happy because Callie's even bigger than me in that dress (and the hair was not a good look if you ask me.). So everybody's dead or really unhappy and the the final shot is of Meredith choosing between McDreamy and the vet who is totally a better choice for her because he's not like married or whatever but he's not as hot.
It was freakin' awesome. :)
CSI:Miami~
CSI: Miami was...well, actually pretty predictable. We kind of saw everything happen in the trailer, and you could pretty much tell that Marisol was going down, although I kind of thought they'd let her hang around until cancer ripped her and perhaps their unborn baby's life out of Horatio's hands. But it turns out she wasn't even pregnant like we were promised by TV Guide earlier in the year. Crazy TV Guide. You are dead to me.
But if cancer had gotten her, then there would not have been that unbelievably awesome moment when Horatio and Delko, who together have got to be the scariest, most crazed, most competant vigilantes EVER, identify the person who shot her and then they're just like, "Oh, it's on now, bitch.". And you're sitting in your living room going, "Yeah! Bitch goin' down!!!!!!!!" Or at least I was. *ahem*
The notable exception to the predictability was the whole Gloria story line, which gave me the title, or one of the best lines ever. I LOVED it.
How I Met Your Mother~
WTF, Marshall and Lily broke up!?!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are so cute together!!!! I love them together!!!!! Does this mean Alyson Hannigan isn't going to be on the show anymore???? Hmmm???? Somebody help me here!!! And I want Robin to be the Mother so badly!!!! Even though I totally know she's not.
And I wouldn't really mind if they revealed the mother---everybody knew Ray and Debra were going to stay together and everybody in the country still watched Everybody Loves Raymond.
Can't wait until September!!!!
24~
Okay, I honestly don't remember what happened. It was before the three hour Young and Horny marathon. Oh, wait, it's coming back to me. The recording is gone and the prez is using it to blow up a Russian submarine. Yep. That's pretty much it.
Oh, and Audrey's back and perfectly healthy. The wonders of what a good twenty minute nap will do for you.
I'm totally in love with this show. I especially love how at the end it cuts to like six different scenes just to remind you exactly how much they still have to tie up in the coming episodes, like "oh, yeah, you forgot about that part didn't you?? Well, we didn't, and somebody's probably gonna die..." Must watch season finale next week.
Whew, I'm tired. I'm off in search of sustiance.
Oh, and y'all probably notice the absence of a CSI recap. Well, it wasn't because it wasn't unbelievably awesome, but I'm gonna wait and do one after the second part of the finale. Can't wait!!!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
CSI:NY- The Few, the Proud, and Mac
But on to the main view of the night, and the only one I actually got to watch live, as I was busy stuffing myself full of pasta and cheesecake in commemoration of my academic achievment until 8:59.
There were, as usual, two crimes. It's Fleet Week, and a Marine is found stabbed to death, causing Mac to get all pissy and commando. And a body is found burned to a crisp inside a car. And upon bone structure analysis or something, Hawkes discovers that it's actually Aiden.
(Colleen: Wait. What was Aiden's last name?
Me: Burn.
Colleen: Oh, ew...)
Okay, I didn't like Aiden, and her hootched out lips annoyed the hell out of me, but they didn't have to kill her!!! And I was actually pretty sad, when Hawkes discovers her face on the computor program thing he like starts to shake and it was really sad!!! All the poor CSIs. Danny, of course, is pissed off and is kind of stomping around the office even though Mac is very kindly trying to keep him away from the case.
Well, through some very, um, interesting deductions, Mac and Danny realize that there was no way that the Marine really could have been attacked normally, because he was a Marine, dammit, and could have taken the other guy down. They proved this by doing the little blocking manouvers. Yeah. Um, Mac? Again, love ya to death, but when you do it in slow motion it's just gay. Not cool. Just gay. They wrap this up pretty quickly because the audience really doesn't care while Aiden is lying there dead. Turns out the wife of an abusive guy killed him because he protected her by knocking her husband out. Oh snap.
Back the real story, Mac and Stella do Aiden's apartment and they find out that she was conducting her own investigation into D.J. Pratt, the guy who raped her friend at the beginning of the season. And then they find a whole bunch of evidence that I don't really remember because my Inner Shipper was screaming so hard inside of me I could barely concentrate. And then they find Aiden's bite mark on the upholstery of the car, and it matches the bite print on Pratt's arm. Which Mac knew would be there because he is a caring and conscientious boss.
So they finally nailed the guy, and it was really sad (and yes, I know these are fake people and that Vanessa Feralito is alive and well) because Aiden knew he was going to kill her and she left them everything they needed to get him. Awwww.... And then Mac and Stella come this close to hugging towards the end, but they don't. My Inner Shipper is disappointed, because Stella's eggs are not going to last forever, you know. Sheesh.
But the ending was really sweet---all the CSIs are at a bar talking about their memories of Aiden...well, Montana's there too, but I think she's just making sure that Danny has a shoulder to cry on. Awww!!!! I love it when my CSIs get together after work!!!! NY doesn't do that enough. Vegas they're constantly eating. Why doesn't NY eat???
Anyhoodles, absolutely wonderful episode. And next week's looks awesome too. Except it's the season finale, which always causes lots and lots of very bad feelings. And they had better not hurt Flack's face!!! Someone will die if they do. Seriously. Anything below the neck.
Monday, May 08, 2006
End of the Week Shows
Criminal Minds was absolutely fantastic. I had no idea it was him. Imladris pegged the skinny girl, but she was wrong. Sadness..
Anyhoodles, CSI: Regular was great...this guy is killed after having his fantasy night...which coincidentally was orchestrated by an organization that creates fantasies. Which conveniently is not prostitution (not that anyone in Nevada would care) because they tell their "employees" and they are not responsible for anything other than a good night kiss. Yeah. Sure. The whole story was long and intricate and Judd Nelson was on there for some reason and I can't really get into it.
But I will write about the part of the show that my indiscriminate Inner Shipper was loving, the constant awkward glances between Grissom and Sara. Now, we all know that I proudly ship Grillows (for my readers who don't know, that's Grissom/Willows) because I think they could be like Lab Parents and just take care of the young crazy ones. But my Inner Shipper (a completely different person from my Inner Pop-Culture Whore) is crazy happy about any tension between any cast members (unless it's Flack---hands off, bitch, he's mine), and she ate those awkward "What's your fantasy" moments up...teehee. She also thought it was a little bit funny.
Without a Trace was awesome, too. The Albanian mob put a hit on this little boy who witnessed an execution and then tried to kill his family. Including his whore sister, who had absolutely nothing to do with the story and yet we still had to see her roll around with some guy. But, the shining FBI agents came to the rescue, and then Simon...sorry, Jack, beat the crap out of the head guy and prettymuch told him to stay away. You go, Simon!!! Next week's looks boring and political, though. Bummer.
And on Numbers, the Russian mob hacked into Don's bank account and there were a lot of tense brother moments, even though I still maintain that there is no biological way that those two could be brothers. Not a chance. I was mainly pleased that I didn't have to watch Rob Morrow make a pathetic attempt at quasi-professional foreplay with some random DA like last week...what is it with DAs??? Why are they always brought in at sweeps to make the male characters sweat??? Frankly, I tire of it. *sniff*
And finally last night I caught Grey's Anatomy. Oh the drama that is going on with the Brilliant and the Horney. Meredith yelled at McDreamy for calling her a whore, Cristina's still being a tightass, Izzie's still lusting after the dying patient, Addison is still being...well, nothing, really. What does Addison have to do??? And Alex is still being a manwhore. I am quite intrigued about the season finale though, apparently it's spread ot over three hours...oooohhhh....
Yeah, so I have tons and tons of viewing for this evening. I have my CBS comedies, the series finale of 7th Heaven that I feel compelled to watch for old times sake, 24 for the
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Lost and CSI:NY- OMGWTF!?!?!?!?
Lost:
Last week, the more intelligent part of me made a reference to Hamlet. I think she may have been psychic, becuase by the end of this episdoe, there as a pile of bodies littering the stage like nobody's business. We open with NotHenry strangeling Ana Lucia. Immediately, I am torn. I've wanted her dead for so long I'm tempted to cheer. But at the same time I really don't like NotHenry. But I"m still slightly ticked off when Locke beats NotHenry over the head with his cane. I'm such a bitch.
Tonight's well-choreographed flashbacks belong to Ana Lucia, who apparently killed the guy who shot her, quit the PD and went to Sydney with Jack's dad (!!!) as "protection" but really looks more like a hopeful botty call. Whatever, I'm disgusted already.
Three other things go on tongiht- Michales back with news of The Others, Hurley is planning a picnic, and Ana Lucia's a whore. But we knew that one already.
The second one is also kind of easy to dispense with . Hurley is taking Libby on a picnic. Sayid offered a beach with a hut on it. Hmmm. A hairy Iraqi and a Dead Girl's love hut. Not thanks, pal. Even though I am an Inner Pop-Culture Whore, I do not wish to see Hurley doing a From Here to Eternity. *shivers*
Michael's news of The Others is more enticing and less nausea inducing. They have a Hatch!!! OMG NO!!!! They know the Numbers and they have a Hatch!!!! And they're weak with two guns. And presumably less attractive. So Michael convinces Jack that they can get gtogether and unbelievably pretty army and kick their asses. Jack and Kate thins this isa good idea, and they go get the guns back from Sawyer.
Meanwhile, Ana Lucia has the same idea (for different reasons) but decides to go aobut it differenty- by sleeping with him. OMG. You are SO NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Jack could never love you now!!! WHORE!!! (Look who's talking...) Oh snap. As somewhat of an afterthought, she gets the gun.
The last five minutes are the best, though. Slowly, it is dawning on me that Ana Lucia is back in the Hatch with NotHenry who tried to kill her. Flashbacks already told us that she likes to kill people who tried to kill her. But in a flash of mercy or fear, she can't do it, and Michael, who is recouperating in the Hatch, finds her staring sullenly at the gun. He then offers to do it for her, and I'm very concerned about Michael turning into a killer. And then he goes, "I'm sorry..." shoots her. KILLS HER!!!!!!!!!! There's blood!!! Libby hears this and runs in and Michael shoots her too. I'm less convinced that she's actually dead, because there was no blood and she still has backstory to clear up. Plus, on the trailer for next week Jack says, "She's dead", not "They're dead." And then he lets NotHenry out and shoots himself in the arm.
Oh my gosh. I can't even think. My whole brain just went numb again. I've been shipping Ana Lucia/Dangerous Weapon for so long I can't even comprehend it. See, ladies, this is what happens when you drink and drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Copyright: Imladris) BTW, we couldn't even get on the message boards right after the show because too many people were trying to access it. Oh snap!!!!
CSI:NY-
Okay, so this has less to do with the actual episode and more to do with the preview for next week, but still. A polygamist who is into lots and lots of really interesting things is dead and the two wives both kind of look guilty. And one of them is. In a not-so-coincidental storyline, one of the wives killed her boyfriend a couple of years ago in self-defense, which leads to countless flashbacks to last week and a couple of insensitive (okay, a lot) comments from Mac.
Mac, what the hell??? I love you to death, but you have got to be warmer and nicer. I mean, you finally hugged Danny a couple weeks ago, but he was already sobbing. And then you let Stella go back to her apartment alone last week. Just because you are a cold Marine who hasn't been able to open up since Osama killed your wife doesn't mean that you can be cold and insensitive to the future mother of your children who is GOING THROUGH A VERY HARD TIME RIGHT NOW!!!!! Ugh.
But the preview was the important part that almost killed me after Lost. There was a rumor going around the boards that this would happen, but I wasn't sure if it was true or not. Obviously so. Aiden is found burned to death in a car. OMGWTFNO!!!!!!!!!!! AIDEN???? I'm still reeling from Ana Lucia who I didn't even like!!!!! Why did they have to kill her??? Oh, and this is just going to screw up the CSI's. Mac's going to have tons of guilt because he couldn't catch that rapist guy, Danny's going to fall back in love with the idea of her, leaving Montana out in the cold, and Stella is therefore going to have to deal with things on her own.
Well, this Inner Pop-Culture Whore is tired, and this update is officially over. Read my one from yesterday, though, in case you haven't already.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
May Sweeps
*ahem* Anyway, things have been pretty good. CSI:Normal was good, loved the dead mother-in-law thing. As was Without a Trace, which gave Danny not as much screen time as Imladris would have preferred, thus leading to a long soliloquy on exactly why he should be on the screen. Loved Jack's daughter too, "Can it be Danny???" Teehee. Actually haven't watched my Numbers tape from last week, and am not entirely sure where it is, so I'm thinking maybe I won't get to see it. Which is okay because it probably won't be cancelled and therefore will be in reruns all summer long. For four months. A long time.
But Monday night was freakin' awesome for TV. First of all, my CBS comedies were so funny. How can anyone look at those three shows and say the sitcom is dead?? Please. Even iof the thought of supporting CHarlie Sheen is a slightly, okay, a lot repulsive, Two and a Half Men is still funny. And I am completely in love with How I Met Your Mother. I am desperate to know how Robin, who is perfect for Ted and THEY SHOULD TOTALLLY GET TOGETHER becomes "Aunt Robin". What the hell???
We watched the Apprentice because it is one of the few shows where generally all people are clothed at most times and therefore suitable for family viewing, and it's actually getting pretty catty. Not that it ever wasn't, but still. I have a theory about business people. You know how they whine and occasionally have to work late for a big project or something? Yeah. You could totally cut that out by making them SHUT THE HELL UP and just do the damn work. Honestly. The whole profession.
24 was good, but kind of slow I thouhgt. I understand it now, but it was still kind of slow. Spent almost the whole time on a plane. See, this is when the whole real-time thing comes back to bite you in the ass. Still, lots of
The final view of the evening was CSI:Miami which, as usual, delivered like Lost. I had the stepdaughter pegged from 9:04. I even knew that she was having a thing with a crew member. Oh, I'm good. And did any body notice that the evil Captain was Bad Toy Store's Evil Marketing Guy from Miracle on 34th Street??? I did, and I don't care if they proved his innocence in the end, I still wouldn't have liked him. Fortunately, they didn't. How sweet was the end??? AWWWWW... I just love it when my CSI's have moments...
Last night was pretty good, too. Haven't gotten the chance to watch my Boston Legal tape yet, as I am stuck at school being responsible, but it is sure to please. House was on, and it was awesome. Foreman caught this disease that they're not entirely sure about and he could die and he just stabbed Cameron's leg with an infected needle, so things are even dicier between them. *deep breath* And it all concludes tonight at seven. OMG I MUST WATCH!!!
There are so many things I must watch tonight. Craziness, really. At seven both House and Alias are on, at eight Lost and Criminal Minds, and then at nine CSI:NY and Law and Order. OMG WHEN WILL I HAVE THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! *calming breath* Okay, okay. I can watch one show and tape the other, except at nine when I am compelled to both tape and watch CSI:NY and keep it as my Squishy until the DVD comes out. Which will be a long, long time from now. Provided it doesn't get cancelled. You don't think it'll get cancelled, do you??? I mean, it's pretty consistantly in the top 20, and how could CBS take off one of the CSI's??? It'd be like killing your children. They'd better not kill my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, okay. I just realized how strange that last paragraph was. I think I'm going to go rejoin the real world, okay????