Please Excuse Me While I Scrape My Jaw Off the Floor

Oh good Lord. My inner pop-culture whore who feeds soley on television juiciness almost died of happiness last night. And after Tuesday's baby joy, well, she's almost dead anyways. Almost too much fake news to handle. I'll just get right to it...

American Idol~

Ace got kicked to the curb. Watch as thousands of ten-year-olds and my aunt cry. Personally, I think it was the creepy hair. Although he was quick to point out that he didn't actually cut it. Pretty Boy knows where his bread is buttered.

Meanwhile, Andrea Bocelli is uncharacteristically pimping himself out and being the guest "coach" next week. Hmmm. The blind Italian tenor and the girl who doesn't know that the "l" in "salmon" is silent. I'm thinking train wreck. A really bad, mistranslated train wreck.

Alias~

I'll admit it. I'm a not-so-closeted Alias geek. I loves it. And I loves that it's back, even though it knocked Lost off for a week. Just a quick run-down, because nobody else watchs it or cares. But I do!!!! Okay, moving on.
1.) Sydney is kidnapped by Prophet 5, the Russian terrorist group du jour. While she's in their custody, they save her baby for some reason. I'm very confused, and it's 7:15.
2.) Irina's back.
3.) What?
4.) Irina's bad.
5.) No shit.
6.) Spy Daddy tries to kill her.
7.) Again.
8.) Sydney goes into labor. Oh!! My little girl's growing up!!! Of course, people are trying to kill her.
9.) Baby's upside down.
10.) Evil Irina apparently knows way more about obsetrics than she should and turns baby around.
11.) And tells Sydney that she wasn't wanted, but the KGB insisted that she have a baby. BOOO!!!!
12.) Sydney gives birth to a baby girl. Oh the days of our lives.
13.) Irina runs away to go be evil.
14.) Again.
15.) Sydney, Baby, and Spy Daddy are on a plane, and Sydney asked Spy Daddy to do something, which he does.
16.) OMG, VAUGHN'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And living in a monestary in Bhutan with a beard ala Christian Bale in Batman. Except Liam Neeson is nowhere to be seen. And he's not as hot as Christian Bale. I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew...

CSI:NY~

Oh, will the revelations never stop??? We open with Stella literally rolling around with Frankie the manwhore. Okay. She is no longer good enough for Mac. I spent the next twenty minutes figuring out exactly who he should get together with. I'm very protective of my television characters.

Very invovled story about a guy buried at Giant's stadium, and the Tanglewood boys (who have aged twenty years and lost all their hair) are responsible, except they found Danny's DNA in the hole. I had that whole thing figured out after two mintues, but it took CSI considerably longer. Which could be because Stella was off doing Frankie and Montana was being worried about Danny and Mac was...well, Mac doesn't know yet that the woman all the Mac/Stella shippers out there had pegged as the future mother of his children is a whore, but maybe he had a premonition.

At the end we have a touchingly tender hugging scene with Danny breaking down and Mac finally stops being such a damn Marine and hugs him. Awww!!!! We learn three things here---1.) CSI's are real people too!!!, 2.) Carmine Giovinazzo is really short, and 3.) Carmine Giovinazzo can't cry. Seriously.

The final scene, however, was awesome. Stella googles this word that Frankie the Manwhore used, and figures out that it's "Bonasera" spelled backwards. Oooh. And there's a website. And, well, this is a family blog, so I won't say what was on the website, but I'm pretty certain Paris Hilton would be proud. Oh snap. Cannot wait until next week!!!!

Going to go eat dinner---I'll put something up tomorrow about regular CSI and Without a Trace. Oh, can somebody please tell me what the clues are in this picture??? I cannot figure it out.